There’s a lot going on in this picture. And I like it!
a new zine called shitty horoscopes that i’ll be premiering this year at the Toronto Queer Zine Fair, among other things! hopefully i’ll make volumes available for online purchase soon. credit where credit is due: this was inspired by the huge number of made-up horoscopes floating around tumblr lately, and angry-poems.
yup, the Libra one is pretty accurate
Famous Last Words:
- Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
- I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
- I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
- I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
- I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
- Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
- I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
- Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
- Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
- Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
- It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
- LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
- You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
- No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
- I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
- Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
- Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
- Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
- Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
- Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.
No, but you forgot the best one
Either this wallpaper goes, or I do- Oscar Wilde, dying in an unfortunately papered hotel room
Oh my, Voltaire. I laughed at that one, too.
Is this really a thing? I bought a pack of dog and cat stamps in 2009, and I still have most of the pack left. But if I can buy Batman stamps, I feel like that’s something I shouldn’t pass up. At my current rate, I should still be using them in 2030.
Honestly I’m just surprised at the amount of restraint it took to not make a “Batman Forever” stamp.